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John Robertson's The Dark Room

 
Laura Tucker Review by Laura Tucker 4 Published: 8 Aug 2025 Gilded Balloon Patter House Show Dates: 30 Jul 2025-24 Aug 2025

There’s something oddly nostalgic about The Dark Room, John Robertson’s interactive live-action video game slash cyberpunk dystopian nightmare.

You enter as individuals and leave as cult followers

Like a battered VHS tape, it feels both like a relic and a collector’s item. A Fringe fixture for over a decade and touring globally, The Dark Room has gained a cult following of Twitch streamers, bearded men in band tees, and young students with a masochistic streak.

What happens in The Dark Room? You play. You die. You try again. Or someone else does, shouting commands to navigate the hellish, low-res world of an 1980s text-based adventure game, hoping to escape the room and win the £1,000 prize, or, more likely, a consolatory baguette.

Audience participation is the blood in this machine. “Use door.” “Go north.” “Punch wall.” are our commands and – in all but a few exceptions – lead to our inevitable death. Don’t fret though, pretty soon, you’ll be gleefully chanting “YOU DIE. YOU DIE. YOU DIE.” at the next person.

Lit by atmospheric torchlight, Robertson’s stage presence is half stand-up, half Viking warlord, his iconic silhouette the result of a set of spiked shoulder guards and a head of greasy blond locks. His ability to hold the room in an intimidating death stare is what keeps the whole thing from collapsing under its own weirdness.

That, and the voice – so hoarse, so guttural. I wonder how his vocal cords can withstand one whole month of this. Then again, this is nothing new for Robertson. He’s been roaring at Fringe-goers for a decade, and he’ll probably outlive us all.

A masterclass in crowd work, Robertson commands the room expertly, riffing on generational divides and gaming nostalgia, from Zelda to Sonic. It’s a bonding exercise disguised as carnage. You enter as individuals and leave as cult followers.

Chaotic and completely unhinged, The Dark Room isn’t for everyone – but for those it is for, it’s a rite of passage.

Long may it scream.

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The Blurb:

The audience is trapped in a retro video game with a sadistic, end-of-level boss. Escape and win £1000 or be brutally murdered by the rest of the crowd! Will you: A) Find the light switch? B) Go north? C) Abandon hope? New deathtraps for 2025! 'A Rocky Horror for nerds... reader, I howled' **** (Telegraph). 'Not to be missed' (Guardian). 'Irresistibly dangerous' **** (Stage). Winner: Chortle Award. Nominated: Best Comedy, FringeWorld 2023. Runner-up: Best Comedy, NextUp 2022. As seen at Glastonbury, PAX, Blue Dot and MCM Comic Con.