Natalie Perlin is the 36GGG woman. And she is a glorious human being, a wonderful, fearless comedian and my biggest surprise and thrill of this Fringe.
To heckle me would be like kicking a very large-breasted puppy
So I talked to her. And tried not to stare at her breasts. Luckily she is a fascinating interview.
I am an over-inflated sex doll. I am a hologram. I am a scratch-and-sniff sticker. I'm a one-woman show, starring Natalie Perlin as herself, but I have been playing Natalie Perlin for so long that it's almost as if I've become her.
And she has celebrity contacts – literally.
I love Dolly! Elvira! Eartha Kitt, Joan Rivers, Divine, I've always wanted to be a bad girl! I would have sold my soul to be Wanda Woodward in Crybaby or Frenchie in Grease.
I have actually met Dolly Parton and she said, “You've got bigger boobs than me,” and we embraced. I have been breast-to-breast with Dolly Parton. I promised her I would never wash my breast again, and nearly a decade later, I still haven't!
Did you ever HATE your breasts - because of the way people assume big breasts go with a small brain ?
I don't hate my breasts but I also don't love my breasts as much as other people seem to. I’m kind of just always carrying around two giant pendulous dinosaur eggs. But if I didn't have them I would be lonely.
Being perceived as intelligent has never mattered to me. I have always wanted to be beautiful and to be loved. I never felt those things, but I always felt like I was smart.
I hated school, I was bullied a lot. And there was a ton of pressure on me to succeed academically and to be this serious intellectual strong independent woman.
Personally I've always just been more drawn to being a bit more of a bimbo. I strongly prefer for someone else to take care of me and to do my bidding for me. To me that is the ultimate form of power. I don't pretend to be any less intelligent. But I also don't pretend to be any more intelligent. The world is full of very stupid people, most of whom don't even have big breasts.
I am actually a genius, in my own way… and if people think I am dumb, it's only because I have learned to dumb myself down so that everyone else can understand me!
(You will notice I am not asking many questions here … but why interrupt this woman? Except that I have learned that she has a big OnlyFans following and I want to know more...)
I posted a video where unbeknownst to me approx 17% of my areola was in fact visible. Because I am genius. People thought it was my entire areola but it wasn't. My areolas are just large. Once that was out there I felt like the cat was already out of the bag.
I posted a poll that said if 1000 people voted yes I would start an OnlyFans, and who am I to argue with democracy?
I love pin-up, pulp magazines, burlesque, vintage porn, old B movies and I love getting all dolled up. I am quite vain and a little bit of an exhibitionist. I used to make a sexy calendar and give it to everyone for Christmas, whether they liked it or not. I think of my OnlyFans as karma for all the money that I am not making in comedy.
It's quite fun to be a fantasy for people. I like to be desired from afar. My OnlyFans is pretty mild by today’s standards. A lot of men are probably disappointed. Disappointing men is another one of my greatest pleasures in life. I’m just a woman with ordinary breasts doing extraordinary things. Jumping on a trampoline, putting my breasts over ledges, knocking over miniature models of cities.
Despite having 36GGG breasts I've spent a lot of my life feeling completely invisible, so for now it's a welcome change. I like to connect with people who like vintage aesthetics or massive breasts, or maybe even just me. Or some combination of those things. Also taking money from men is truly one of my greatest pleasures in life.
I also provide uncertified life-coaching, because I don't think I can make people any worse than they already are.
(I think I might just adore this woman.) So, the whole comedy thing? Were you always this FUNNY?
I didn't have the courage to try comedy for the first time until just about five years ago. A lot of therapy and a lot of psychedelics have helped me to hide from the world a little less. But I was always funny, in a quirky, whimsical 'this child is very peculiar, somebody should help them, something is very wrong' type of way.
I have an almost exceptionally pure heart, but I have a very dark and twisted mind. Certain events, strange and sad events and phenomena, have taken place in my life that created a perfect storm and it was just inside me for so long that when it was ready finally to come out it was like lightning in a bottle.
I do think comedy is my gift to the world. Sorry world! No refunds or exchanges. It's hard for me to be sexy without trying to be funny at the same time. Just as it's hard for me to try to be funny without trying to be sexy.
Do you have any problems with women being a bit sniffy about you? Do you feel people don't take you seriously as a comic because of the GGGs?
People are very nice to me. At least to my face! It's quite nice when people have little to no expectations.It makes it easier to completely blow them away. When I walk on stage, I usually get a very positive response.I would love to think it’s my timeless beauty more than my breasts. But I do think that aside from that, there is a sweetness to me, but also a sadness that people can sense.
Audiences are quite kind to me. I feel like people are rooting for me. To heckle me would be like kicking a very large-breasted puppy.
Even the women?
Women love me much more than men! Women and gay men can't get enough of me. Straight men rarely talk to me in real life. I think maybe my voice pitch is too high and the frequency doesn't register with them. Almost like a dog whistle. On the internet it’s a big switch.
I spend most of my day frolicking around like some sort of giant-breasted Snow White surrounded by chirping birds and woodland creatures, in my own little fantasy world. I am quite shy, and soft-spoken 99 % of the time, but then when I'm on stage this naughty little girl comes out.
I've never felt like there was anything I couldn't say in a club. I've never felt unwelcome anywhere. I am especially mischievous and adorable and feel like I can get away with nearly anything. I have always felt that the rules don't quite apply to me. If you can't handle me at my worst... you don't deserve me at my breasts.
Plans for the future?
I want every single person on this god-forsaken planet to love me, but I do understand that I'm not for everyone, so I will settle for just a few million people. Surely that will fill the void.
I would love to tour, to find my people in the world, to sell out shows, to make a name for myself and to be taken seriously… but not too seriously.
