Where Do All the Dead Pigeons Go?

Where Do All The Dead Pigeons Go? This is a production that doesn’t try to answer any of your questions - or refer to pigeons, for that matter, even as a metaphor, throughout the course of the whole play.

If you, like me, are thinking how does this relate to pigeons, you would be rightly confused

Instead this was the story of an astronaut who has been living for three years on the moon, now carrying out his first live link Q&A from space to earth. If you, like me, are thinking how does this relate to pigeons, you would be rightly confused.

The blurb promised “weird, fast and inventive”. Please let it not be mistaken, I enjoy weird at the best of times, but this was the kind of weird that did not push its own boundaries, happy to wallow in its own nonsense without explanation, and there’s little I can offer in a review.

The claim of “fast”, can only be made in reference to his drawing skills, which are the only moments with any momentum in the otherwise sluggish pace of the play. “Inventive”, to Scott’s credit, is achieved through the use of the overhead projector which, as his only prop, morphs into other characters, space scenes, newspapers, pretty much anything and everything in a wonderfully miscellaneous way.

The astronaut does well to build a strong relationship with his one companion Tony, or T-100, a computer programme based on Tony Mowbray (the Middlesbrough FC captain, but the relationship is not developed anywhere near enough to make their eventual disbanding moving in the slightest - even though, to be fair, his sense of vulnerability and loneliness is clearly conveyed throughout the hour.

Billed as a comedy, the comedic material is somewhat absent and mainly comprised of a Cilla Black impression with no attempt at a Liverpudlian accent - and two foxes rutting, one of them violently ejaculating. That’s without mentioning either his Batman impression or his illustration of a pervert touching a child, which was concerning to say the least. A weird, slow, and infuriating experience.

Reviews by Sophia Charalambous

The Stand’s New Town Theatre

Carol Ann Duffy and John Sampson

★★★★★
White Stuff

Hand Weaving Workshop

★★★★
Underbelly, Bristo Square / Underbelly, Cowgate

Bismillah! An ISIS Tragicomedy

★★
The Jazz Bar

The Gil Scott-Heron Songbook

★★★★
Gilded Balloon Rose Theatre

Cat Hepburn: #GIRLHOOD

★★★★

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £600,000 to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

Performances

Location

The Blurb

Where do all the dead pigeons go? I could give you the answer right now... but it would ruin the show. Between you and me... I’m still not sure. With felt-tip pens, and his ex-girlfriend's overhead projector, Scott Turnbull takes us on a journey through space and time. This frolic of cartoon and comic reason miraculously weaves science fiction, memoir, parable, fairy tale and farce… It's weird, fast and inventive. Pigeons in this show are fictional and bear no relevance to pigeons existing or dead.

Most Popular See More

Cinderella The Musical

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Phantom of the Opera

From £27.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Mousetrap

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Come From Away

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Book of Mormon

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Dear Evan Hansen

From £30.00

More Info

Find Tickets