Where Do All the Dead Pigeons Go?

Where Do All The Dead Pigeons Go? This is a production that doesn’t try to answer any of your questions - or refer to pigeons, for that matter, even as a metaphor, throughout the course of the whole play.

If you, like me, are thinking how does this relate to pigeons, you would be rightly confused

Instead this was the story of an astronaut who has been living for three years on the moon, now carrying out his first live link Q&A from space to earth. If you, like me, are thinking how does this relate to pigeons, you would be rightly confused.

The blurb promised “weird, fast and inventive”. Please let it not be mistaken, I enjoy weird at the best of times, but this was the kind of weird that did not push its own boundaries, happy to wallow in its own nonsense without explanation, and there’s little I can offer in a review.

The claim of “fast”, can only be made in reference to his drawing skills, which are the only moments with any momentum in the otherwise sluggish pace of the play. “Inventive”, to Scott’s credit, is achieved through the use of the overhead projector which, as his only prop, morphs into other characters, space scenes, newspapers, pretty much anything and everything in a wonderfully miscellaneous way.

The astronaut does well to build a strong relationship with his one companion Tony, or T-100, a computer programme based on Tony Mowbray (the Middlesbrough FC captain, but the relationship is not developed anywhere near enough to make their eventual disbanding moving in the slightest - even though, to be fair, his sense of vulnerability and loneliness is clearly conveyed throughout the hour.

Billed as a comedy, the comedic material is somewhat absent and mainly comprised of a Cilla Black impression with no attempt at a Liverpudlian accent - and two foxes rutting, one of them violently ejaculating. That’s without mentioning either his Batman impression or his illustration of a pervert touching a child, which was concerning to say the least. A weird, slow, and infuriating experience.

Reviews by Sophia Charalambous

C venues – C


Laughing Horse @ City Cafe

George Michael Is Greek

White Stuff

Illustrate Your Own Ceramic Object

Pleasance Courtyard

Evelyn Mok: Bubble Butt

Scottish Storytelling Centre

Loud Poets: The Fantastical Game Show Spectacular

Laughing Horse @ The Counting House

C'est La Vegan




The Blurb

Where do all the dead pigeons go? I could give you the answer right now... but it would ruin the show. Between you and me... I’m still not sure. With felt-tip pens, and his ex-girlfriend's overhead projector, Scott Turnbull takes us on a journey through space and time. This frolic of cartoon and comic reason miraculously weaves science fiction, memoir, parable, fairy tale and farce… It's weird, fast and inventive. Pigeons in this show are fictional and bear no relevance to pigeons existing or dead.