A shameless ode to desolate puppy-love in all its mundane, absurdist glory, featuring toads, sperm-banks and carrots. A tragicomic theatre monologue by Verona Verbakel, intended to make people laugh with her misery, although also aiming to bring light to patriarchal stereotypes, dangerous gender role-patterns, and the loneliness of dating. Explicit language. Based on true events.