Do you remember the days of yore? Of gum detentions, boredom pure? Deep in the Smirnoff Underbelly, a group of Scottish students are putting on a play in memory of those school days we would rather forget.
The motley crew of characters include: an old hunchback with an eyepatch and a parrot; a smooth-talking headmaster; an epileptic chemistry teacher in a witch's hat; and finally, the English teacher who insists on forcing his (multicultural) and all-male class of pupils to act out scenes from Lady Chatterly's Lover. Some of the more absurdist elements of comedy overreach themselves, and sometimes the ethnic stereotyping just isn't funny. Most of the time, however, they press all the right buttons.
'All good schools,' announces the voiceover man, 'have a good counsellor.' This is not a good school, but it does have a counsellor.' This one believes in tough love; in response to the boy who complains of bullying, he is informed, simply, that 'the first cut is the deepest.' Then Damian enters the scene; 'And what seems to be your difficulty, Damien?' 'I went to the school disco last week,' he replies, 'and I killed a girl.' Red lightning flashes. The scene fades out to the soundtrack of 'Murder on the Dancefloor.' Etc.
In another scene, an errant pupil is summoned in front of the school to be reprimanded; not only has she stolen everything in the chocolate machine, she also has a small section of an African desert in her locker, a small Masai tribe and an iced bun. Strongly recommended; a really good laugh.
