Buy cheap tickets for Boozr
Too bored to stay in, too scared to go out!

The 72-year-old cabaret performer Nigel Osner knows a thing or two about ageing and self-isolating during the pandemic. Since the 90’s, he has been developing a wide range of cabaret characters through lyrics and monologues. In this short medley, we get to meet some of them and find out how they have adapted to the new normal.

Osner could have done so much more with his characters.

Nigel Osner’s 2019 Edinburgh Fringe performance Too young to stay in, too old to go out dealt with the ups and downs of ageing through the eyes of male and female characters. For this online special, Osner changed just two words in the title – and voilà – we have a Covid-19 infused version titled Too bored to stay in, too scared to go out.

The 15-minute show includes two original songs, the title song and the reflections of an ageing Marlene Dietrich-esque character, who rather enjoys her pandemic, and a monologue about two spinsters on a cruise ship, which – you guessed it – turns into a lockdown nightmare. Most of Nigel Osner’s characters have been around for quite some time. For example, his Dietrich act was shot as a short film in 2005.

During the lockdown, many cabaret stars have put together amazing performances from their living rooms with just a few props and a lot of imagination. Unfortunately, Nigel Osner’s act does not compare. Knowing the long history, he could have done so much more with his characters.

Without the clothes, makeup and hair, his cabaret act is stripped down to a clumsily executed stand-up comedy number with no editing, not even on blundered lyrics. Instead of giving it the air of a live show, this does not work for his advantage nor do justice to his talent.

Even though this was not Nigel Osner’s brightest 15 minutes of fame, do look up his short films, they are worth a watch.

Reviews by Johanna Makelainen

Hill Street Theatre

Ripper

★★★★
ZOO Playground

Bob Marley: How Reggae Changed the World

★★★★
The Voodoo Rooms

Blues and Burlesque

★★★★
Gilded Balloon Patter House

Potty the Plant

★★★★
Laughing Horse @ Dragonfly

Ask A Stripper: No Holes Barred

★★★
C ARTS | C venues | C digital

Practice of Zen

★★★★

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

Performances

Location

The Blurb

Cabaret songs and monologues reflecting the varying implications of Covid-19 for male and female characters. The Scotsman has described Nigel as ‘tremendously talented and very entertaining’ and Fringe Review said ’a performer with finesse and charm’.
Buy cheap West End theatre tickets
Buy cheap tickets for Boozr

Most Popular See More

Buy cheap tickets for Nutcracker - London Coliseum
Nutcracker - London Coliseum

From £22.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Matilda
Matilda

From £25.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Starlight Express
Starlight Express

From £36.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for The Book of Mormon
The Book of Mormon

From £34.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Stranger Things : The First Shadow
Stranger Things : The First Shadow

From £37.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Showstopper! The Improvised Musical
Showstopper! The Improvised Musical

From £23.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Evita
Buy cheap tickets for The Producers
Buy cheap tickets for The King of Pangea
Buy cheap tickets for Christmas Carol Goes Wrong
Buy cheap tickets for Spies
Buy cheap tickets for Born With Teeth
Buy cheap tickets for Barmy Britain
Buy cheap tickets for Stiletto
Buy cheap tickets for Sabrage
Buy cheap West End theatre tickets