The Royal
  • UK Regional & Tours

"Brilliant, barmy andtotally bonkers!" FIVE STARS The Lowdown Magazine

Reporters and celebrities are waiting outside the brand new RoyalLiverpool University Hospital on the day that it is set to open its doors. Thewards are ready, the machines are plugged in and all of the patients have beenmoved across. Well, nearly all of them...

As the first wrecking ball is set to swing into the old buildingWard 8X are the last ones to clear out. The only staff left are highly trainedmedical professionals like top tea lady Teresa, Casualty obsessed nurse Flo andMaureen, a psychotic mortuary assistant who is rapidly running out of patients.All they need to do is get out before the Royal turns to rubble!

"Anarchic, wonderfully wacky and highly infectious" FIVESTARS Wirral Globe

"Perhaps you won't ever see a better Royal Court comedy"9/10 The Guide Liverpool

Royal Court favourites Lindzi Germain and Angela Simms have writtenthis brilliant comedy which will have you stitching your sides together.

Don't miss the Royal's last stand! They are not going quietly!

Age advisory 16+ strong language throughout. Some nudity.

Running time approx 2 hours including interval.

"A genuinely side-splitting comedy" FOURSTARS Purple Revolver

"A rip-roaringcomedy that never fails to find the belly laughs" FOUR STARS Reviews Hub

Written by Lindzi Germain and Angela Simms with additional material from Cal McCrystal

Performance Information

Stalls tickets are available with a meal (served at your tablebefore the show) for an extra 14. Click here to see our menu. If you areeating with us please arrive at least an hour before the performance.

Tickets are available for the show alone in stalls, circle andbalcony.

You can also dine next door in the Courtyard Bar &Kitchen. Their pre-theatre offer is two courses for 18 and three for 22pp(price subject to change). Book a table on their website byclicking here.

BSL performance is on Tuesday 22nd March 22 (interpreter Karl Llorca). Audiodescribed performance is on Wednesday 23rd March 22 (describer Anne Hornsby). To bookplease contact Box Office or email [email protected]

Circle and balcony will open at 7.15pm. There are bars in bothareas for pre-show and interval drinks. Stalls will be open from 6:15pm.

If you are bringing a large group, every tenth ticket is free.This ticket will be automatically added to your basket on purchase. Meals andbuilding levy must still be paid on your free ticket.


Please note - the bar will close 15 minutes before the advertised starttime.

1 from every ticket bought will be donated to The Royal CourtLiverpool Trust. For more details go to

Please contact Box Office to book if you are a wheelchair user.

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Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now



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