Buy cheap tickets for Boozr
The Real Ones

A meaty feast of new theatre from playwright Waleed Akhtar, The Real Ones is a fast-moving and impassioned exploration of platonic love, tackling themes of identity and sexuality that Akhtar previously nailed in his Olivier-award-winning play The P Word.

Bring a friend - and perhaps a tissue or two - for this intimate exploration of platonic love

Spanning over a decade in the lives of best friends and wannabe playwrights Zaid and Neelam, The Real Ones tracks the pair’s unique experiences of love and loss from their student days to their mid-thirties. A story of British-Pakistani identity, homosexual awakening and motherhood, The Real Ones is far-reaching in its goal, grounded by the curative theme of friendship.

With a runtime of two hours and no intermission, The Real Ones is not worried about throwing audiences in the deep end. Luckily, the swift current of the story carries us through easily, buoyed throughout by star performances from Nathaniel Curtis (It’s A Sin) as Zaid and Mariam Haque (Black Mirror) as Neelam, supported by Anthony Howell and Nnabiko Ejimofor as the duo’s love interests.

With minimal staging and costume changes, the focus remains on the stars throughout as they effortlessly elevate Akhtar’s whip-sharp dialogue with maturity, understanding and good comic timing.

Bring a friend, and possibly a tissue or two, for this intimate exploration of two lives intertwined.

Visit Show Website

Reviews by Laura Tucker

Arcola Theatre

In Other Words

★★★
Harold Pinter Theatre

Giant

★★★★
Bush Theatre

Tender

★★★
Bush Theatre

Statues

★★★★
Bush Theatre

The Real Ones

★★★★
Peacock Theatre

A Night with Janis Joplin

★★★★

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

Performances

Location

The Blurb

Best friends Zaid and Neelam shared a dream: get away, make it as playwrights, build a future where they’re free to be themselves. Together, always.

Years later, things are far from what they expected. Zaid’s life has kinda stalled – half out the closet, living at home and still chasing the dream. While Neelam’s has taken a completely different path, as she chooses to prioritise her own happiness.

Buy cheap tickets for Wicked
Buy cheap tickets for Boozr

Most Popular See More

Buy cheap tickets for Six
Six

From £42.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for TINA: The Tina Turner Musical
TINA: The Tina Turner Musical

From £13.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for The Book of Mormon
The Book of Mormon

From £34.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Magic Mike Live
Magic Mike Live

From £48.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Mean Girls
Mean Girls

From £31.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Abba Voyage
Abba Voyage

From £67.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Buy cheap tickets for Sabrage
Buy cheap tickets for Barmy Britain
Buy cheap tickets for Born With Teeth
Buy cheap tickets for The King of Pangea
Buy cheap tickets for Stiletto
Buy cheap tickets for Faygele
Buy cheap tickets for Into The Woods
Buy cheap tickets for Spies
Buy cheap tickets for Show Queen
Buy cheap tickets for The Producers