The Cow Play

Unimpressive from the start, The Cow Play leaves the audience confused and unfulfilled.

It all begins with some serious over-acting, the actor’s stomp their way across the stage for no deliberate purpose. Holly Campbell and Zach Wilson, playing the two main characters, then engage in a dialogue which involves them both speaking to the whole of the stage as opposed to each other which leaves the audience outside the performance as spectators, as opposed to being able to enter into the story.

The intention of the performance is clear despite being rather crude and under-constructed, as Holly becomes unwell, presumably depressed - she also begins to turn into a cow. This is fuelled by the first absurd scenario during which Holly tells her boyfriend Owen that she found a ‘thing’ in the sink, the thing being a paper-maiched, blood covered calf.

Holly’s maternal attachment to the calf coincides with her growing a tail, giving up promising career opportunities, growing ears, eating grass and finding herself becoming more and more emotionally removed from Owen. The line ‘We’re all depressed…this is England’ summarises the plays attempt to address depression, relationships and achievement by 20-something’s who feel like they should have already conquered all three. But the characters mood changes are too erratic to support the difficult issues that the play is trying to grapple with. With more build up and maybe more background before the introduction of Holly’s transition into her cattle-like state, the metamorphosis wouldn’t seem so blunt and baseless but would make sense as the culmination of everyday pressures and years’ worth of unrealistic societal expectations.

The laughs are few and far between although one play fight scene between Owen and his best friend Tom does provide a brief moment of comic relief. It’s difficult to work out whether it’s meant to be about Owen, Tom or Holly and it doesn’t quite work as a play about them as a trio. By the final scene all three of them still feel like peripheral figures and you’re waiting for the main characters to step in. The lines between the cow metaphor and Holly’s actual illness aren’t blurred enough to give the play the poignancy it needs and all the audience is left with is tripe.

Reviews by Alaina Briggs

Marlborough Theatre

Intuit This

★★★★★
Latest Music Bar

Snow White: The Whole Grimm Affair

★★★★
Upstairs at Three and Ten

Mannequins

★★
Sallis Benney Theatre

Tribal Remix

★★★

Fish Pie

★★★★★

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

The Blurb

Owen and Holly's relationship is ending. There are many reasons for this – Holly is ill; Owen’s friend Thom disapproves – but most of all, Holly is turning into a cow. Owen can’t seem to write, Thom’s exhaust pipe is ruined, and Holly is turning into a cow. See how these collective bad days affect romance, friendship and yellow flowers.

Most Popular See More

Wicked

From £25.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Book of Mormon

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Frozen the Musical

From £36.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Back to the Future - The Musical

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

SIX

From £39.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Phantom of the Opera

From £30.00

More Info

Find Tickets