In the weeks before her 30th birthday, Kelly is facing an ultimatum. Either she finds a boyfriend, or she loses her job. I mean, we've all been there right? Kelly works at The Business of Love, a company fully funded and controlled by the patriarchy, and what they say, goes. Currently they are working on Project Boyfriend, but previous work has included Project First Kiss, Project Prom Date and Project Virginity. As potential suitors dwindle and disappear, Kelly fears the safety of her and her colleagues jobs', as they also face the sack if Project Boyfriend is unsuccessful. Together, they work to make sure Kelly is slim, smooth and sexy (at the request of the patriarchy), and if that doesn't keep a man interested, then what will?! Will Kelly be able to pin down a man? Will they lose their jobs? Will the patriarchy ever be satisfied with women? And most importantly, does yoghurt really help you lose weight? The Business of Love celebrates all choices for women, whilst wrapping everyone in an embrace of female friendships. In this office, you'll find the gossip is hilarious, provoking and full of juicy sex stories. Best paired with a good cuppa. Latecomers may not be admitted. Please arrive in good time for the start time of 19:45. Under 18s are not permitted into the theatre for this performance. No re-admittance once the performance has commenced. Refunds and exchanges are not available.

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Show me the charities

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now