Recently deceased Sam has always got by on loveable mediocrity, and expects to do so long into eternity - until his delusion is shattered by a deeply uncompassionate receptionist at the gates of Heaven. Desperate to avoid a) Hell or b) rebirth as a nivea labrat, a cockroach, or Gonorrhoea, he sets out to appeal his low karma percentile, and is allowed seven days in Heaven in which to recruit friends, family and lovers among the virtuous dead who might testify in his favour. On the way, he discovers that everyone in Heaven seems to know each other, hate themselves, and somehow maintain a grim fascination with sexual deviancy long after all the excitement has worn off. Increasingly frustrated with celestial bureaucracy and beginning to doubt that everlasting bliss actually floats his boat, Sam gradually and suddenly reaches the conclusion that the only way to get what you want might actually involve harnessing the powers of friendship, chaos and flagrant self-absorption to overwhelm the system.