Most of us have been taught a particular script about successful, healthy romantic relationships; we should seek a partner (a soulmate, the One, our other half) to be each others best friend, lover, roommate, emotional & physical carer, family member, financial supporter & co-parent combined, forever. Deviating too much from this script is generally considered sad, bad &/or dysfunctional. Broadly speaking; breaking up= sad, a failure. Being single = pitiable. Having multiple partners = weird, dysfunctional, attachment issues. Cheating = bad person. Don't want kids = selfish, more attachment issues.
In this workshop we investigate this script & explore how our romantic expectations interact with the basic human needs for intimacy and autonomy and the emotional intensity balancing these contrasting needs involve- love, infatuation, jealousy, joy, fear, betrayal, anger, loneliness, shame & heartache/break- that arise when we're swiping, dating, hooking-up, fwb-ing, cheating & committing.
With a grounding in trauma & attachment theory and a non-judgemental approach to the range of relationship styles/configurations/orientations we might practise/identify with (monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, non-consensual non-monogamy, marriage, singledom, self / solo- partnership etc) this session unpacks ways to maximise authenticity & connection in our relationships, whatever form they take.
This workshop is for you if:
Youre interested in relational norms & how these inform our expectations and behaviour in our own relationships Youve ever felt confused or frustrated by the idea that romantic partnerships are the most important relationships, and should be prioritised above connections with friends, family & self Youve ever felt quite mad with the intensity of your obsession for someone ( a second date, a long-term partner, someone youve been messaging on Hinge for 3 days) Youve ever felt like you might well die if your partner ends the relationship / expresses irritation with you / fancies someone else Youve ever felt utterly mystified by your friends / partners emotional intensity/ sensitivity Youve ever felt claustrophobic, trapped, overwhelmed, flighty in the face of another persons love/ desire/ attachment Youve ever tried to play it coolYouve experienced the infamous trajectory of many romantic relationships (from initial intensity, erotic excitement, delicious attunement towards decreased sexual charge, practical entwinement, emotional co-dependence, familiar points of conflict) & Feel Some Things about this trajectory Theres a tension between your relationship values/ politics ( perhaps respect for individual freedom, autonomy, privacy, value of honest communication, worthiness of authentic care-giving and empathy) and your emotional reaction / behaviour towards your partner (perhaps intense anxiety in response to that freedom/autonomy/privacy being exercised or experiencing their honest comms as threatening personal attack?)
I look forward to welcoming you into this inclusive, sex-positive and non-judgemental workshop to explore how to navigate romantic relationships freely, intimately & authentically. All identities welcome to this fun, interactive and trauma- informed space, facilitated by an experienced sex and relationships educator.
What is the romantic script? What does it mean to be in love? How am I supposed to play it cool with all these feelings? How can I be honest if doing so would hurt my partners feelings & threaten the relationship?! How can I be truly myself & also meet my partner's needs & expectations of me?!
For most people, it can feel intimidating/exposing to attend something like this- thats normal! Kudos for even considering leaving your comfort zone! Feel free to reach out in advance with any questions/concernsWe will-
- engage in discussions, activities and personal reflection
- myth-bust common misconceptions about sexual norms, anatomy, arousal, desire and pleasure
- cultivate an atmosphere that is open-minded, kind and respectful to a variety of perspectives, sexual proclivities and ideas
- have a No Questions Asked policy for anyone who leaves the workshop at any point
Romantic Scripts is one of the Better Sex Workshops- informal, inclusive & non-judgemental sex ed workshops for adults involving facilitated group discussions, activities & games designed to challenge ideas, prompt curiosity, inspire reflection & generate discussion about sex & relationships.
Wanting some more info?
Check out testimonies from previous participants, FAQs or get in touch here with any questions/ concerns
Why attend a Better Sex Workshop?
Most of us were never provided any formal sex or relationships education. Instead weve done our best to learn about what sex & intimacy involve from the informal sex ed available; the internet, TV, films, porn, family, friends, partners, books, religious institutions, personal experience
Few of us have graduated from this form of sex ed sexually & emotionally satisfied. Collectively, we far too often experience sex thats formulaic, dissatisfying, dutiful, shame-ridden & performative within relationships that too frequently feel mis-attuned. Most of us are left hurt & frustrated, without much idea how to cultivate the intimate lives we want.
I've spent the last 12 years learning about sex & relationships. I developed these workshops as a way to share the most transformative bits of this learning to support others to navigate the complicated landscape of their sex lives and intimate relationships with greater self-awareness, insight, perspective and some solid strategies to maximise pleasure, intimacy and authenticity.
A note on Ticket types
Tickets are priced on a sliding scale: 0- 10- 20- 30- 45 (full price).
The full price ticket is significantly cheaper than similar training available, reflective of my own subsidy (offered from my position as someone whos benefited from unearned resources & cultural capital myself) as well as my commitment to making these workshops accessible to everyone.
Please choose the ticket type that most accurately reflects your position & experience (you may not identify with every point- thats OK!- go for whichever feels the most relatable).
You're entitled to a free ticket if you cannot afford any of the ticket options. This could be because you
are unwaged (unemployed / on benefits / unpaid carer / not entitled to work in the UK) or Have a health condition that makes a steady income difficult / impossible or experience difficulty paying for rent / necessities or have significant debt or don't have access to resources from family/network or could not comfortably afford spending 10 on meal out / at the pub
If this is you, please don't hesitate to get in touch (feel free to write
nothing except other/free ticket option) & I'll send you you're free ticket,
no questions asked.
I do my best not to limit free tickets as am dedicated to ensuring these
sessions are accessible & inclusive, regardless of financial position.
This system is only sustainable insofar as everyone truly does opt for the ticket type that genuinely reflects their financial position. I trust you to choose honestly & am grateful for your integrity in making this system workable.
