Matt Green: Writing to Harvey Keitel

I hope for Harvey Keitel’s sake that he isn’t aware of this show taking place. What could have been a great subject for an evening of comedy, turned out to be a disappointing performance that consistently fell flat on its face. With a pocket full of rave reviews and a brush with fame, as he had once acted alongside the Hollywood great in none other than a Direct Line advert, Matt Green had everything going for him.

What could have been a great subject for an evening of comedy, turned out to be a disappointing performance that consistently fell flat on its face

So where did it all go wrong? I think the PowerPoint presentation is a good place to start. It was difficult to figure out whether it was purposely haphazard or just a lack of effort. Yes, the movie clips he was using were dated but the whole arrangement just seemed tired and drawn out. Some of his punchlines were funny but his style was quite sloppy as he slumped between long drawn out stories to not-so- punchy one liners.

Throughout the show he referred back to a game he had invented, Kettle or Keitel, where the audience had to guess who or what the thumbnail image belonged to. It was vaguely amusing the first time but didn’t need to be repeated. Which could also be said of the Harvey Keitel mannequin. Again, in theory, this could have been quite amusing but just lacked any real substance. Yes, it’s creepy that you have a Harvey Keitel mannequin but no, we don’t really believe that you take it around with you.

The skit about lookalikes, in which he produced a line-up of some very unconvincing celebrity impersonators, did get a few laughs but it wasn’t very original. However, to give credit where it’s due, when he pointed out the random similarities that he shares with Mr Keitel it was well deserving of the roar of laughter than ensued.

His delivery could use some work. He bumbled through quite a lot of his stories and almost seemed relieved when he could pause for a breather and play yet another clip of Harvey Keitel, either topless or stating that he wasn’t masturbating.

If he had set out to win a world record for the amount of times one human being can say the name Harvey Keitel in one hour, he would definitely deserve the honour. Yet leaving the venue, I couldn’t help but think that it might have been a better evening if I had spent it at home watching clips of Harvey Keitel on YouTube, in the comfort of my own living room.

Reviews by Bethan Troakes

Brighton Dome & Brighton Festival

BAIT with Live Score by Gwenno and Georgia Ellery

Komedia Theatre

The Maydays: Confessions!

Sweet Werks 2, 15-17 Middle Street

Call of Cthulhu: A Cold Case

The Old Market


Brighton Spiegeltent



Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now



The Blurb

Two years ago, Matt spent six hours in a car with Harvey Keitel. Since then, they've kind of lost touch, so Matt decided to write to Harvey to let him know everything he’s been up to since that momentous day. “Really funny” **** (The Scotsman), “A perfectly paced hour" **** (The List)

Most Popular See More

The Book of Mormon

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Play That Goes Wrong

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Lion King

From £35.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Matilda the Musical

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets

The Phantom of the Opera

From £27.00

More Info

Find Tickets

Back to the Future - The Musical

From £24.00

More Info

Find Tickets