Not long ago, I lost my best friend. Soon after, I sat in the hospital emergency room, alone and scared, believing I didnt have long left to live. I felt unable to call any of my mates to be with me. A few months later I was chased down by two knife-wielding men on a moped, and narrowly escaped. After overcoming these events a thought stayed with me I havent been able to shift; I dont know if I can save myself. I eventually reached out to my mates and found we were all harbouring the same fears about being a man or not a good enough one. This is why I wrote In the Shadow of the Black'.