I was sitting behind a woman and her two children for this performance. She glanced around, saw my notepad and began giggling to herself, telling her sons that I was actually taking notes on how to beat off the living dead (not like that). To be honest, Im surprised I managed to take as many notes as I did given that I was laughing so much. How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse: it sounds like a musical doesnt it? Not at all, its actually a very funny comedy show that takes the form of a training seminar on zombology. Were ushered into the room by Donald, the survival instructor, who has been prowling up and down the queue outside making small talk with the audience and reassuring us that weve made the right decision in learning to defend ourselves. When were all seated the seminar leader, Dr. Dale Seslick, introduces himself. Hes fantastically smarmy, a sublime and startlingly accurate portrayal of every seminar leader in the country. He even uses those ridiculous phrases and signals that wind everybody, or at least me, up. You know the ones making a T with his hands and saying team. He then introduces the rest of his colleagues: Judy, the scientist; Valerie, the weapons instructor; and Malcolm, the put-upon counsellor. Judy steps forward to tell us the main categories of zombies and how to deal with them. As is revealed in Shaun of the Dead you do indeed have to destroy the brain. Did you know that a zombie head that has been separated from its body can still bite and infect the living? I now do, thanks to the seminar, so in future Ill watch where Im stepping. Like a real seminar, this show relies heavily on audience participation. That could so easily go very wrong but the cast are perspicacious and meet any situation the audience throws at them with a dry wit and a wry sense of humour. There was one instance in which the audience was asked for a suggestion and the reply was scat singing. Our seminar leader responded drily: this evening is about the undead, not the brain-dead. Theyre essentially improvisational comedians, and very good ones. Theyre also very good actors. Nothing flaps them, no matter how ridiculous the audience suggestions are. For example, when were being told how to defend ourselves against a zombie were asked for a scenario and a weapon. The answer an audience member shouts is a fish. Were then told, by a poker-faced cast, how to kill a zombie with a fish. Very useful. Theres also a twisted version of yoga in which were taught the unicorn position of defence (though you have to have four people to carry it out). Its bizarre, its all bizarre, but its brilliantly bizarre. And its family friendly. There is absolutely no foul language, no nudge-wink references to sex and no goriness. It also leaves you feeling very sorry for poor old Malcolm, the counsellor, who is given the worst jobs in the roleplays and generally slapped down by the seminar leader, as he ambles around the auditorium in search of a hug. Hes endearing. If I were you Id get myself a ticket, because even though I now know how to defend myself you can bet that Ill be looking out for number one when the undead walk the streets. I dont have time to save you too.