Board a ship for a mysterious quest into the unknown and become the pirate you were born to be in the most epically adventure you've never had...until now.Discover what it really takes to swash and buckle as you and your crewmates journey to the heights of delight and depths of depair towards new horizons.Outfox slippery foes, flirt with fate and uncover lost secrets...if you have what it takes.Inspired by mytholgy, 90s nostalgia and an especially memorable sixth birthday pirate party, How To Be A Pirate invites you to dive into a world of nautical nonsense and sea-based stupidity that has left mermaids, men and molluscs alike yo-ho'ing with delight. And now the ship is calling YOU!So grab y'grog, climb aboard and heave ho. Adventure awaits!

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Show me the charities

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now