Firing Blanks

Kate is a teenager staring out into the audience and smiling and muttering. A young busker stands in a corner playing his guitar. The set is a single park bench. In the gloom of this Underbelly space my heart sank – I’ve seen a lot of plays in Edinburgh down the years where you’re presented with this kind of spare scenario as you enter. It doesn’t usually bode well for riveting entertainment. I needn’t have worried. Every so often (though maybe not often enough), the Festival unearths a little gem and this piece sparkles as brightly as any I’ve seen.Enter Richard. He’s wretched, as he’s just been told the terrible news by his doctor that he will be unable to father a child. He gets talking to Kate and from this unlikely alliance we get to explore some incredibly deep themes, most fundamentally of all, what it means to be a man.And it’s all done with consummate professional skill. Tom Spencer’s short, new script is perfectly paced under his own direction and both actors, Robin McGloughlin and Holly Beasley-Garrigan are superb, though the latter doesn’t quite look young enough to play a teenager. Richard tells Kate that having weighed up the options (surgery that probably won’t work, adoption) he and his wife Amy have decided to go down the path of using a sperm donor. What follows is a series of imaginings about the future, beginning with the moment Richard is handed his baby by a nurse. He looks at it, and realises that it doesn’t and will never look like him. It’s heartbreaking. We’re then taken through other imagined scenarios, culminating in a furious row with his teenage daughter who screams at him ‘You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real dad.’I’m making this all sound a little bleak; it really isn’t. It’s full of great wit and gags. Kate speculates on what it would be like to find out your biological father was someone who ‘grunted over a cup’, and makes a funny, though insensitive remark about seedless grapes. There’s nothing po-faced about the treatment of the subject matter, and the real strength of the production is its warmth and humanity. The staging is simple but brilliant, a red anorak becoming actual characters in front of our eyes. The guitar music, written and performed by James Hill (the busker) always enhances but never intrudes or tries to cheat our emotions.I won’t be spoiling it to say there’s a pretty happy resolution. If I have a slight criticism it is that this ending is a little too pat, a bit too easy after all we’ve heard. Kate tells Richard about here own situation with her mother, who clearly resented her existence. It’s this information that allows Richard to move forward and embrace the future.The day I saw this there were about twelve in the audience. I’ve sat in some packed auditoria for the last three weeks watching some terrible acting, students murdering the classics, directors intellectually wanking off, performers not having a clue what the play they are undertaking is about. All of them should see this play that they might see how simply, if you have the talent, you can make people laugh and cry. And think. Everyone involved here should be very proud of their new baby.

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

The Blurb

Having a baby is complicated. It's even tougher when you need another man's sperm. A truly touching and often funny new play by Tom Spencer, with live music. From the makers of 'Be My Eyes' - 'Excellent' (Scotsman).

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