There’s a line early on that unintentionally sums up this show: 'None of us is nervous but if we were this is probably how we’d be behaving.'An intriguing premise - three finalists in an X-factor-style TV show are cooped up in the green room prior to their last broadcast - is squandered in this lacklustre production. Single mum Mia looks like a perma-tanned chav but, for some inexplicable, unfathomable reason, sounds like she’s spent three years at drama school, while the casting of Liam Mansfield makes Ben an unlikely heart-throb. He can do charming well enough but, when he’s asked to convey grief and shock at the news his girlfriend has been hospitalised in a car crash, he doesn’t seem able to make the leap - uncomfortable to watch. Most promising is Cat Marriot as posh-girl and flautist Cassie. But the actors aren’t really the problem here - it’s the script. Banal dialogue accompanies a near-total absence of tension - ‘drama is conflict’ the maxim runs, so why make your contestants all like one another? There is a hint of a sinister conspiracy but not much is made of it. It’s all so inoffensive and vanilla, ironically just like the hateful TV shows it’s targeting.

Since you’re here…

… we have a small favour to ask. We don't want your money to support a hack's bar bill at Abattoir, but if you have a pound or two spare, we really encourage you to support a good cause. If this review has either helped you discover a gem or avoid a turkey, consider doing some good that will really make a difference.

You can donate to the charity of your choice, but if you're looking for inspiration, there are three charities we really like.

Mama Biashara
Kate Copstick’s charity, Mama Biashara, works with the poorest and most marginalised people in Kenya. They give grants to set up small, sustainable businesses that bring financial independence and security. That five quid you spend on a large glass of House White? They can save someone’s life with that. And the money for a pair of Air Jordans? Will take four women and their fifteen children away from a man who is raping them and into a new life with a moneymaking business for Mum and happiness for the kids.
Donate to Mama Biashara now

Theatre MAD
The Make A Difference Trust fights HIV & AIDS one stage at a time. Their UK and International grant-making strategy is based on five criteria that raise awareness, educate, and provide care and support for the most vulnerable in society. A host of fundraising events, including Bucket Collections, Late Night Cabarets, West End Eurovision, West End Bares and A West End Christmas continue to raise funds for projects both in the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa.
Donate to Theatre MAD now

Acting For Others
Acting for Others provides financial and emotional support to all theatre workers in times of need through the 14 member charities. During the COVID-19 crisis Acting for Others have raised over £1.7m to support theatre workers affected by the pandemic.
Donate to Acting For Others now

The Blurb

‘I’ll be bigger than Leona.’ Three deluded misfits. One audition. But something’s seriously amiss. What does elimination really mean? Sotto Voce presents 'Fameless', a darkly comic look at what people will do for their fifteen minutes of fame.

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