Jim Davidson may be credited with inventing the adult panto (as early as 1999 with Boobs in the Wood), but perhaps we can now give Stuart Saint the accolade of perfecting it. Since Dick! – Saint’s fourth writing/directing Christmas stint at Leicester Square Theatre – takes all the glorious smut that has come before, gives it a right good polish and rams home a filth-fest of pure titillation.

Dick! is ultimately a self-knowing parody of the panto, leaving no stone of the genre unturned, urinated on and generally abused with a sex toy.

Villainous Queen Runt (Lucy Grainger) is plotting to gentrify the sleazy village of S’HoHo, filling it with corporate tax-dodging chain stores including her very own coffee shop, the Crusty Bean - and she won't rest until it's been on everyones lips. She’s already swindled Madame NoHo’s out of town and all that stands in her way is Sofonda Cox (Dusty ‘O’), owner of the famous sex club, Fitznicely. Beginning to recognise the story yet? Our randy hero Dick (Rhys Owen) arrives with his companion Dave the Cat (Rae Brogan) instantly falling for Sofonda’s buxom niece, Alice (Rachael Born). Overseeing the lewd proceedings, Fairy Bell-End (Paula Masterton) does her best to give them a happy ending, but even she’ll admit this is her first Fairying gig, so she’s a bit shit.

Whilst the majority of adult pantos are playing in rooms above pubs, fringe studios or just one-offs from the cast of an existing family show, Leicester Square’s Dick! has been given significant enlargement this year – moving to the 400-seater main space for the entire run. Whilst Dick!’s new girth may be sizable, it’s lost none of the charm. There’s obvious extra budget in the lighting, set and pyrotechnics, but returning punters will still get a good dose of the depraved humour they’ve come to expect including perennial favourites Hot, Wet Pussy and If I Where Not Upon The Stage. Oh yes, and “Fuck off, Dave” is still ever present.

The swelling of Dick! means this year we have the benefit of ensemble dancers Louise Douglas and Travis Sumner. Both spend much of their time in skin-tight shiny garb – so regardless of your sexual preference – there’s plenty of eye candy on display. Choreography by Dalh Haynes (and the larger stage on which to perform) adds grand production numbers you’re unlikely to see from the competition. Dick! just keeps getting bigger.

Saint’s sinful script is a fast, foul-mouthed tongue twister, like Urban Dictionary: The Musical. Characters rattle off inventive expletives at such high speed the audience is still gasping in hysterical disbelief just as another reference like “Put my Baloney Pony in your Quimnasium” is bouncing around the auditorium. Your mother’s pantomime this is not, unless your mother is adept at pole dancing, perhaps.

Dick! is ultimately a self-knowing parody of the panto, leaving no stone of the genre unturned, urinated on and generally abused with a sex toy. If you’ve been broad minded enough to get this far in this review, you’ll love it.

Reviews by Sue Denham

Underbelly, George Square

Myra Dubois: We Wish You a Myra Christmas

Greenwich Theatre


Multiple Venues

La Voix: Red Hot Globe Trot

Leicester Square Theatre

The Adventures of Dick!

Leicester Square Theatre


The Assembly Rooms

Worbey and Farrell's House Party




The Blurb

London’s No.1 adult panto returns in grand style with the ultimate version of the critically acclaimed Dick!

This festive season sees the third coming of our hero ‘DICK!’ and his promiscuous pussy ‘DAVE THE CAT’ as they embark on a chaotic caper through perverted pantoland.

Lead by MISS DUSTY ‘O’ as the batty yet glamours S’HoHo sex club owner ’SOFONDA COX’, familiar favourites ‘FAIRY BELL-END’, ‘ALICE FITZNICELY’ and the delinquent, delicious diva ‘QUEEN RUNT’ reunite and run riot through the heart of the WEST END in yet another camp and carnal romp.

Dick! moves to the Main House this Christmas, will our dearest friends make it upstairs in time? Can the ‘Leaky Vessel’ sail up the ‘Streaky Crack’? What ‘Carry On’ chaos do our beloved friends have in store? …Who can say! One thing is for certain, the whole gang is gagging to go the extra inch with a scintillating, riotously rude and hilarious evening, for the greatest filthy and debauched Christmas you’ll ever have!

WARNING: Dick! is not for the faint hearted or easily offended - however there is enough to go around and remember … you’ll never miss a trick once you’ve gone DICK!