Warning: this review contains numerous cheesy James Bond puns. A Night In… Double-Oh Heaven promised Bond girl burlesque, thrilling danger acts, skilled circus and live renditions of classic 007 themes, served with a dash of titillation and a double measure of glamour. And boy did it deliver! The show was crawling with beautiful babes, secret agents and evil villains with whips, guns, knives and axes. An evening of perfect Bond-age.
this villain did not stop at stroking his pussy. No, he turned into one to belt out a rather disturbing cabaret number as a bald drag queen
The foul-mouthed compère Abi Collins was a firm favourite with the audience, amazing with her physical and verbal gymnastics. Her multiple talents as a comic, actor, singer, dancer, clown and acrobat all came together in a sizzling performance as Penny Galore – not Pussy because of her cat allergy – and an obnoxious double act as the evil Russian spy Nadja. Her Twitter bio says it all: body of an athlete, mouth of Joan Rivers.
Abi’s act climaxed in a view to a kill; more specifically singing Fever with two male assistants picked from the audience who helped her to form the raunchiest human pyramid ever seen. When she wasn’t groping their bums she casually performed a perfect split – while standing one foot on each man’s shoulder. After she was done with them, they looked thoroughly shaken and stirred.
Other thrills were the gun slinging Ayesha Hussain, who whipped up a frenzy as a deadly Bond girl performing a trick or two with her whips. The formidable Joe Black made a guest appearance as the ultimate Bond villain Blofeld. But this villain did not stop at stroking his pussy. No, he turned into one to belt out a rather disturbing cabaret number as a bald drag queen.
The Scottish sideshow couple The Death Do Us Part introduced us hubby Charlie Atlas – who looked disturbingly like Wolverine – showing some tough love to his femme fatale wife Rachel by throwing knives and axes at her. She responded by swallowing a few swords. Then there was the gorgeous Cherry Shakewell – the organizer of the extravaganza – who made everyone’s eyes spin with her nipple tassel-shaking striptease to Goldfinger.
The show was rapidly thunderballing towards the end without a Bond in sight. But in flies Augusts Dakteris to save the day. Not only is he a world class aerial artist, but he also served as Alexander Skarsgard’s body double in Tarzan. Daniel Craig, you have been warned. I bet his aerial acrobatics – with abs to die for – would make Bond fans cry the world was not enough. In the end, there was still room for Skyfall and a bow from the acts who all were licensed to thrill tonight. Never mind double Oh, it’s five Oh’s from me!