Grammy-winning cellist Leah Coloff has played with the best - Bowie, Iggy Pop, Debbie Harry. By any objective measure she’s good, very good. But then there’s family. Her Fringe show Super Second Rate, combines music, song and spoken word. It digs deep into passing tnrough family relationships that can damage your life – and coming out the other side.
We all have fears about going through our dead parents' belongings
My Mom and I were cleaning out the basement storeroom of my childhood home when I came across the draft of a letter written by my Dad. He had passed away over 20 years before, but his things were still untouched.
I think we all have fears about going through our dead parents' belongings and finding a secret life: naked pictures, a porn stash indicating a kinky predilection, a dastardly political affiliation, affairs, etc. But what I found was perhaps more surprising. It was a validation that the double bind at the centre of my life wasn’t just poor self-esteem and laziness.
I didn’t even have the heart to read the letter until I got home to New York. I knew it was going to be intense. And I wasn’t wrong. Turns out he wrote to my music tutor saying I just didn’t have what it took to be a professional musician.
I talked about it with my therapist/life coach Jan and we decided to talk back to that letter with song, since that’s what I do. So, I made a xerox of the letter, went to town with the concept of blackout poetry, using phrases and words from the letters as lyrics. Then, during a residency in upstate New York at the Silver Sun Foundation I wrote some songs.
Music is often an instigator for me and once I had these songs I realised I wanted to dig into this knot. Could I untangle this double bind caused by my Dad’s obsession with music, my resulting relationship with the cello and my constant search to cultivate a satisfying musical life? What better way to find out than to write a show!
I took Super Second Rate out on its first ride in the summer of 2023 at Amanda Palmer’s venue in Woodstock, NY, Graveside Variety. It was work in progress reading the stories and playing the songs. Easy. But I was fretting, “Wait, why am I doing this? Is anyone really going to relate?” and reassuring myself with, “Okay, if no one
responds, we don’t ever have to do this again”.
Turns out many people struggle with not feeling like they can live up to, or want to live up to, their family’s expectations and values. At dinner after the show, Amanda Palmer commented that Super Second Rate would be a good show to do at Edinburgh Fringe cause it’s just me and my cello. I thought, “Hm, Yeah, maybe I’ll do that. Why not?”.
It stuck in my mind. And kept sticking. And that’s how I know that I’m going to do a thing - it keeps sticking and then I’m compelled.
