Some people just attract misfortune. Have you heard about the British stewardess makes it through not one, not two, but three shipwrecks, including the maiden voyage of the ill-fated Titanic? Tyler and Erin perform in new show What Doesn’t Kill You [blah blah] Stronger - a cabaret inspired by incredible true stories of near-death experiences, at this year’s Brighton Fringe.
You actually have a greater chance of being struck by lightning, a hurricane, and a tornado simultaneously than being hit by a meteorite.
After taking on a LOT of research to create the show, Tyler and Erin have discovered some tips on how to survive some pretty dire situations. Here’s what they learned... just imagine it set to music...
Abandoned on a desert island after an unsuccessful mutiny? Never fear!
Take a tip from Alexander Selkirk, the Scottish sailor who found himself in just this predicament back in 1704, and train yourself an army of feral cats. They’ll keep you company, help you catch food, and prevent the local rodent population from nibbling your toes at night!
Lost in the wilderness with no fresh water supply? Don’t despair!
Enemas are the answer! In cases of real emergency, it is possible to hydrate yourself by taking water rectally, thus absorbing it through the colon and bypassing the digestive system, which can be helpful in the wilderness if you’re not sure if certain liquids are safe to drink.
Standing on a sinking ship and not sure what to do next? Easy!
Go immediately below deck, find your cabin, open the door, and retrieve your toothbrush! This tip comes courtesy of Violet Jessop, who survived the sinkings of both the Titanic and her sister ship the Britannic. She was so scarred by the lack of toothbrushes aboard the rescue ship the first time around that she made sure to fetch hers before heading to the Britannic’s lifeboats four years later.
Terrified of being struck by a meteorite? Relax!
You actually have a greater chance of being struck by lightning, a hurricane, and a tornado simultaneously than being hit by a meteorite. And the only recorded human victim of a meteorite strike, Alabama housewife Ann Hodges, survived the ordeal in 1954 with nothing more than a bruised left hip!
Stuck in Antarctica with acute appendicitis? No problem...
...if you’re a doctor like Leonid Rogozov, that is! Stricken with illness in the middle of a blizzard in 1961, Rogozov had no choice but to remove his own appendix. Let's hope he had a steady hand!
What Doesn’t Kill You [blah blah} Stronger is at The Warren: The Blockhouse, Victoria Gardens, Brighton, 9.45pm May 12, 15, 18, 20 & 21, 2019: £6 - £12.