Our Editor-in-Chief, Richard Beck, meets up with Ryan Patrick Welsh, aka the 8th Best Legs in San Francisco, to talk about his life and debut show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Sex, Camp, Rock 'N Roll.
Ryan, you boast the 8th Best Legs in San Francisco. How did that line materialise?
Oh, it’s not a boast darling, it's simply the facts! One day, I opened a package and found sash and a ribbon that declared I had The 8th Best Legs in San Francisco! (You’ll see the sash in the show!) However, there was no return address. I assumed there would be some follow up or that I would hear through the grapevine about the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, & 7th best pairs of legs in SF, but alas, it never came to be! Thus, I’m the reigning 8th Best Legs in San Francisco, a title that I hold dearly and wear with pride. I must say, my legs are pretty gorgeous and many people think I should rank higher, but I’m far too modest, humble, and unassuming to ever bump myself up. Allow the people to think what they want!
Sex, Camp, Rock 'N Roll, which you're performing at theSpace @ Niddry St, is advertised as a 'one-woman, six-person' show. How does that work out?
I call it a ‘one-woman, six-person’ show because it's a delightfully funny phrase that instantly makes people curious! Gotta get that marketing copy, baby! I mean, here you are asking me about it. It also happens to be the truth. Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll is a one-woman/man/them show because it’s my story that I’ve written and my show that I star in, but it also has 5 other people on stage! These 5 others consist of everyone’s favourite ditzy, diva duo The K*ntz! (Ruby Day & Sharon Shao) and our fabulous 3 piece rock band The Gruntz! Simply do the gay maths and you get a ‘one-woman, six-person’ show. It falls somewhere between traditional cabaret, rock concert, and monologue session and it works fabulously!
The show is described as an honest look at your life as a non-binary, queer sex worker for the last 8 years, so without giving too much away, let's hear something about that.
Well not only as a sex worker, but as a modern day horndog too! I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life deep in the throes of sex with many, many, many men and on top of that became a sex worker 8 years ago. Over a third of my life has been spent connecting with men on a physical level. It’s what I know. It’s what I’m an ‘expert’ in. On top of my own personal connections, sex work has been incredibly illuminating, teaching me about desire and connection and intimacy. What I can say without a shred of doubt is that sex work is therapy. We live in a culture that’s starved for intimacy and sex workers fulfil a vital need for the masses.
There’s also been a lot for me to process about my gender presentation and how that’s perceived by men personally and professionally. I was so effeminate growing up (still am) but sex was the first place I ever felt in touch with my masculinity. There’s a lot of femme shame in gay male culture which I internalised for many years and carried over into my sex work. I present as very masculine for sex work because its what many men want to pay for and I need the money. To be clear, no one told me NOT to present as feminine. I chose it. That choice was informed by many years of being on Grindr and Scruff and noticing the huge difference in contacts when you’ve got a face picture with some eyeshadow vs. a thirsty post workout pic. Any gay will tell you. I’ve been working hard on expelling this internalised homophobia and embracing my femininity as not only powerful but desirable. Also I use he/she/they pronouns and don’t care which ones people use :)
So let's go more deeply into the bit that I'm sure everyone's most interested in and tell us something about your life as a sex worker. How did you start, what are the clients like and do you have an outrageous story about one other?
Well one of the juiciest, meaty sections of Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll is my sex worker origin story, SO YOU SHOULD ALL BUY TICKETS TO SEE IT IN PERSON, but I can give you a little preview, a taste, an amuse douche, if you will. And I know you will!
I started hookin’ 8 years ago at a time when I was in a bit of a bind. I had quit my coffee-shop job to do yoga teacher training (what could be more SF), when my apartment was in a fire (even MORE SF), so I suddenly needed a job and to make some money. Voila, a new path emerged! The clients are 90-95% lovely men, mostly older, who are looking for connection. That varies from cuddling to chatting to getting pounded deeply! There are of course some terribly dull or irritating people but I find them few and far between. What job doesn’t include people you don’t like?
One of the crazier times was an overnight with a client who was a parTier (methhead), which is pretty common in the biz. They’re often looking. I don’t have any judgement for users (there are many other substances I enjoy, T is not one), but meth can bring a particular energy and intensity that can get strange or frustrating. This one man started out particularly great and we spent many hours enjoying each other’s company, and then it was around 1 am and I was exhausted so I decided to go to bed. I had been there for about 4 hours and we still had time in the morning. During the night, he woke me up several times because he was not sleeping, and when I finally decided to wake up at 6am, so he would stop waking me up, he told me he had decided to WASH MY UNDERWEAR while I slept. Now, we were in a hotel room, so he had done this in the bathroom sink and then placed my sopping wet underwear into a drawer to dry. When I asked him how I was supposed to wear my now-soaked drawers home he replied “I hadn’t thought of that.” !!!!! There were many other maddening things that continued to happen that morning but ask me about it in person.
So why did you decide to make a show about it?
Like I said, it’s what I know. It’s what I can offer insight into. Over the years, I’ve generally been pretty honest with people telling them I’m a sex worker when they ask,”What do you do?’ Most are taken aback at my honesty and then immediately lean in and say, "You can say no, but do you mind if I ask you some questions?” People are fascinated by sex work! We’re everywhere but we’re hidden away. So, what I happen to know is also something people want to hear about. Perfect fodder for a show for me! Also, I want a bigger performance career and I’m not interested in having sex work be some big, shameful secret in my past. Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll combines the three biggest aspects of my life, performance, sex & sex work, into a delicious, sexy, vulnerable treat for the audience.
You say ‘people seem to enjoy my noodly appendages wiggling about for them’. Are they one of the elements that makes the show different from others in the genre?
Oh I’m just a large, gangly 6’4 woman whose arms and legs seem to fly all over the place when I perform. You never know where they’re going to end up next! (Consensually)
You've said that creating this show has deeply affected your views on the world and your relationships with others. Can you expand on that
Well it’s mostly reaffirmed the power of vulnerability and truth. I’ve been genuinely shocked & delighted by the reaction audiences have to Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll. Even though it’s my unique story, many people share how my story has made them reflect deeply on their own lives, sometimes in ways that have nothing to do with sex or sex work! I’ve found that incredibly affirming in the need to keep pushing to develop and produce this show further. We need some more honesty and vulnerability in this world that is so surface level.
I once was hanging out with someone who had seen the show and they confessed to me that they were having an affair! This was one of the first times we had ever hung out. We were around a bunch of other people they knew and when I asked if anyone else here knew about the affair they told me ‘no’ and I gay screamed! When I came down from the goopery I said, “Well thank you for trusting me with that.” They replied “You were just so honest in your show about your stuff I figured I could tell you!”
You’ve toured in the USA, but is the Fringe your international debut?
I haven’t exactly toured the USA, but I have brought Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll to a few different theatres in the Bay Area. Fringe WILL be my international debut and I’m so excited I could just spit! I can’t wait to make these 8th Best Legs into an international incident!
What are you hoping to get out of performing here?
A run in New York. A tour. A special. Those are the big three goals! But beyond my ego, I’m also really looking forward to meeting tons of other artists, particularly queers, and seeing what weird, whacky, wonderful programming they’re bringing. It’s a chance to fill the artistic well in an unprecedented way. I’m always clocking why I love a certain moment on stage, a gorgeous lighting choice, a beautiful turn of phrase. These come back in my moments of creation. Seeing art for the sake of seeing art is also just a pleasure and there’s SO much to see!
On top of that, I get to perform this show 21 times with some of my closest friends which is chaotic joy. We get the opportunity to sink into the show in a way we never have with our usual 3-day runs which will lead to some fun, new discoveries! We get to be at the largest theatre festival in the world together, being scrappy and making art. How fucking cool. How fucking lucky. How fucking awesome.
