Narin Özenci was born in Romford Essex to a Turkish Cypriot family as a second generation immigrant. During university she was screened for autism and discovered the clowning group ‘Ridiculusmus’. Now she has a solo career in comedy.
It's a survival show about how I manage to survive my melt downs and social withdrawal
Narin, Inner Child(ish) is rooted in your own experiences. How did the idea for the show begin and evolve into what audiences will see at this year's Fringe?
It's rooted in shame; shame I wanted to put in front of an audience to have fun being a messy neurodivergent person. I have challenges that I have kept secret for many years trying to be a functional person while putting others on a pedestal, due to shame. I tried to fix myself, but then I realised that I was going against how my brain works as an autistic person. I'm still having real challenges with this show because of my ego and trying to be understood.You’ve just reminded me to let that go. A friends said, "You need to respect yourself." To which I replied, "I'll start tomorrow!" and got lost viewing Cast Away. Then, after watching lots of self help seminars I had the idea to reenact it as a way to reveal my brain on a plate.
You’ve described this as a survival show. What’s been the most challenging part of putting such a personal, physical piece together?
Disciplining my brain, because it is like a wild stallion. It goes full throttle, then its tired for ages, not wanting to see anyone and to be in total silence for a few days. Also it's not that personal because I am not revealing anything too specific. I might say lots, but I am not saying anything at all that is of detriment to myself. My past shows have been shouty and aggressive to block out feelings and push past the numbness on the from getting scared on stage and being scared of people. This time I am doing the opposite, which is terrifying because it is so vulnerable and exposing. So essentially it's a survival show about how I manage to survive my melt downs and social withdrawal.
There’s no linear narrative in the show. Was that a creative choice to reflect how your mind works, or did it emerge naturally during development?
I dont think in a linear way, I think in a detailed way which is really annoying for me because it's exhausting. It did emerge naturally,because I tried to be conventional and it just doesn’t work for me, which is absurd when you think about it, because I am such a direct person and yet I create things as an allegory.
You personify different parts of your brain in the show. What made you want to bring those internal experiences to life on stage, and how have audiences responded to them?
I think im going to cut them out! I am not sure, because they have been misbehaving and causing problems on stage for me. They are part of the sabotage crew and they have been messing up parts of my previews.
People in self help and therapy keep harping on about the shadow self and the inner child as though it's an entity or separate being. I took it much further and made them parts of the brain. Audience members sometimes get confused and think that these characters are real, so I will probably need to tell them that I am channelling them. Have heard of that? Channelling is when you breath and you get your brain into delta waves and you let an alien or ghost take over your body. So I think that's what I will do. I will channel reptilian brain, aka Hungry Vagina. If my family are reading this I am sorry; I have a normal functioning body.
You’re camping during the Fringe, which must make matters more complex. How does that decision tie into the spirit of the show itself?
It doesn’t because I am just saving money as an idiot trying to survive in this world and with myself. Come to think of it, Tom Hanks is by himself in the middle of no where trying to survive on an island; I will be in a tent in a field trying to survive the rain and junkies.
You talk openly about being autistic and how that affects social situations. What does performing this show in front of a live audience offer you, emotionally or creatively?
This show has been nothing but a hassle and hard work. It has taken me a year and a bit to understand why I am doing it. It has made me question many things about myself as a performer and writer as it made me realise I was putting on a character of how I think people think I am rather than simply being in the moment and playing.
How has performing Inner Child(ish) informed or inspired your development of clowning workshops for neurodivergent people?
After performing my show and looking into how my brain works, I wondered about other people's experiences of being neurodivergent and wanted to provide a space for them to have a voice; fun workshops to help them respect how their brains work along with lots of rest in between to allow recuperation.
