Theyre sold out until the end of time (well, the end of the run anyway) so its pretty academic if I say that this is the funniest, silliest, campest, rudest, coarsest, most preposterous and delightfully vulgar pantomime you will see this side of the Arctic circle. Having exhausted my thesaurus, which let me tell you was painful (I hear you cry Oh no it isnt!) let me apprise you of the plot. Did I say plot? Oh yes I did.Part-time nurse Robin Hood is in love with Dr Marion Maid, TV doctor and handsome and suave physician at Friar Tucks Cottage Hospital in Sherwood Forest, but the evil Sheriff of Nottingham, thirty-sixth in line to the throne of England, is determined to make Dr Maid his own civil partner and turn him into a Queen. With a Royal wedding on the cards - yes, this is topical stuff - Robin Hood gathers his band of Merry Men including a lesbian called Little Joan, a fat friar (jokes about this), a lovesick Will Scarlett who wants Robin for himself, a buxom hospital matron and an Israeli donkey with a northern accent - north of England, that is, not north of Israel - and they all set off on a mission to free Robins love from the clutches of the wicked royal.Oh, and theres a butch fairy with a pouch full of magic dust which can spirit the cast from one scene to the next. Sadly, it cannot save him from the necessity of having a bollock transplant half way through, but Robin and his motley band rise to the occasion. The Stag certainly knows its audience. Jokes and satire are in abundance. Royal Princes Edward, Harry and of course Wills all get a look in (one of them has a very big closet but Ill let you decide), and theres an outrageously tasteless gag that gets nipped in the bud so quickly youll wonder if you actually heard it. Stripped to the waist and clad in green tights that appear painted on, Guy Warren-Thomas as Robin looks the best thing that ever fell out of a Greenwood tree. Sam Sadler makes a quirky, endearing Will Scarlett; Brendan Riding as the Dame is adorable and ambrosial as Matron; Adrian Quinton as Dr Marion Maid must surely be the object of many a doctor fantasy (I never had one personally but there are, I believe, those that do); and Mansel David, while everybody else is going completely over the top, gives a beautifully underplayed rendition of Friar Tuck. Jonson Wilkins as The Fairy is no Tinkerbell but earns his wings. Caroline Wagstaffe and Helen Victor as Little Joan and the flatulent donkey (which is really an Israeli Princess condemned by a curse - to be a donkey, that is, not flatulent) almost complete the cast; but the biggest thief in the forest is Matthew Baldwin as the Sheriff of Nottingham, who steals the show and runs off with it. His hissing, slimy snake-in-the-grass villain is enormous fun. The audience booed him to the end.The writers Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper pile on the silliness and double entendres with gay abandon while director Royce Ullah keeps everything frenetic. With cast and audience clearly having so much fun, it seems almost churlish to say that the pace needs picking up and running with, which Im sure will happen as the show beds in. On press night, the rough edges were almost as risible as the insane storyline. The songs are a hoot too, best among them a version of Goodness Gracious Me with Dr Maid and Matron playing the Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren roles.Sadly, youll have to turn yourself into a fairy to magic your way into the audience as all the tickets are sold.
