How to be Good at Everything is a one-hour learning spectacuganza from life haxperts and best friends, Katie and Jay. No refunds. We get the lowdown from the experts.
We’ve never received a good review. No one takes us seriously – they just refer to the ‘comedy’ and ‘jokes’.
K: It’s simple. One hour. Life hacks. You don’t get your money back if you’re too stupid to learn.
J: It’s really funny. I sing a song.
What does Edinburgh mean to you?
K: Edinburgh to us, and every English speaker out there, means ‘a city in Scotland’. It might even be the capital (don’t quote us).
J: Good food, fit men, bad weather. Katie told me you can’t get a return train ticket for less than a month, which is why we have to stay for so long. Yawn.
Who inspires you and why?
K: My inspiration is me. At the end of the day, if you don’t inspire yourself, how can you outspire others?
J: My inspiration is Katie. She’s really smart.
K: Thanks, Jay. And you are nice.
Describe your best or worst experiences on stage.
K: I’d have to say the best experience to date in our 23-year career performing together, is placing second in our school’s off-brand version of ‘Stars in their Eyes,’ with a rendition of Beyonce’s Crazy in Love. You might think, ‘second?’ That’s not very good.’ Well first off, you didn’t do any better, because the girl who did, sang Almaz and made everyone cry. Second off, she then went to LA to be in One Tree Hill. Therefore, we came second to a TV star* (*support artist).
J: My worst experience was when I had really bad tonsillitis and Katie made me do the show anyway. She said it was cos we got free dinner but I couldn’t eat it…
Describe your best or worst review.
K: We’ve never received a good review. No one takes us seriously – they just refer to the ‘comedy’ and ‘jokes’. But even idiots would read that review and think ‘I’m not going to learn anything – I won’t bother.’
J: The reviews say we work well together but Katie mostly tells me what to do.
If you weren’t performers, what would you be?
J: Ooh, I love a riddle.
K: We’re not performers! Why do we keep getting asked this? If we weren’t performers, we’d be life haxperts who deliver advice on how to be good at every- OH NO WAIT, WE ALREADY DO THAT.
What was the last book you read?
K: That would be our book, How to be Good at Everything.
J: We don’t have a book.
K: Sorry, I thought they said ‘wrote’. That’s the last book we wrote.
J: We haven’t written it.
K: Excuse my tenses - I thought they said, ‘will right’.
J: OK. Same.
How can I learn how to be good at everything?
J: YouTube tutorials.
K: Answer: you should come see our show How to be Good at Everything.
Imagine that the BBC have asked you to produce a primetime show. What would it be and who else would be involved?
K: We would host an advice column phone-in show, complete with badly dressed studio audience.
J: I’d wear a hat.
K: People from all over the country would phone in their questions and Matt Baker would be in charge of tweets.
J: Did the Beeb ever get back to you about that Katie?
© 2017 On the Mic.